Carney’s

The Hottest of the Hot

There is fierce competition in the hot dog market in Los Angeles.  The historic Pink’s, Tail o’ the Pup (the hot dog stand in the shape of a hot dog), even the street vendors with their bacon wrapped hot dogs heaped high with fragrant grilled onions.  One can’t discuss hot dogs in L.A. without mentioning the world famous foot long Dodger Dog, once made by Farmer John in Vernon just east of downtown.  Of course, one must be vigilant in choosing a hot dog stand; a close friend warned me about an unnamed establishment where, on a particularly hot afternoon, the chef was sweating profusely onto the grill just as he was tonging his dog into the bun.

The top of the heap, the king of the hill of the L.A. hot dog is at Carney’s.  I started going to Carney’s in the 1970s when I was in college (am I really that old???).  Carney’s was the perfect place to end an evening after the type of hard partying that your nerdy reviewer never used to do.  Located in the heart of the Sunset Strip, Carney’s is walking distance from many iconic venues including the Whiskey a Go Go, the Roxy, the Rainbow Bar and Grill and the original Tower Records.  The Sunset Strip, however, is not just partying and rock ‘n roll; it also calls to mind the dark side of the City of Angels.   I once took a grim reaper tour of the city that included the Menendez house in the swanky flats of Beverly Hills (“the nightmare on Elm Drive”), Cielo Drive in Benedict Canyon and Waverly Drive near Silver Lake (the Tate-LaBianca murders), and of course, the O.J. route in Brentwood from his home on Rockingham Drive to Mezzaluna (where the ill-fated waiter Ron Goldman found Nicole’s mother’s glasses) to Nicole’s condo on Bundy Drive and finally to the drive-through McDonalds on Santa Monica Blvd. where O.J and Kato Kaelin picked up a meal (to be reviewed in the future).   The tour ended on the Strip at the Chateau Marmont Hotel and the Viper Room, where John Belushi and River Phoenix, respectively, breathed their last.

But I digress; let’s return to the subject at hand.  Carney’s has a second location on Ventura Blvd. in the more prosaic suburb of Studio City down the street from another iconic spot (to those of us who did the Bar Mitzvah circuit in the seventies), the Sportsmen’s Lodge.  I went to the Studio City restaurant recently to grab lunch and to speak with one of the current owners, Bill Wolfe.  I was introduced to Bill by an orthopedic surgeon friend (yes, I have friends that are orthopedic surgeons).  This particular friend not only is the greatest orthopedic surgeon in the history of medicine, he is also the greatest softball player in the history of the game and the greatest physical specimen in the history of humanity. 

Bill’s parents started the first Carney’s in 1975 by dragging a train car onto the last vacant lot on the Sunset Strip.  He told me that their hot dogs are “all about quality.”  Because there is a huge variation in the caliber of hot dog meat and casings, he tested over twenty brands before settling on his choice of the best product.  Although the specifics of the current dog are a trade secret, it is all beef with a natural casing.  

Carney’s motto is “Probably the best hamburgers and hot dogs…in the world!”  I was always struck by the qualifier “probably.”  Bill explained that every hot dog stand claims to be the best.  He added “probably” to give his motto credibility.

The triumvirate of faster, better, cheaper may have worked for Henry Ford but if one is not the automotive genius one can typically only accomplish two with a sacrifice of the third.  Carney’s hits all three serving an outstanding meal efficiently and, in these inflationary times, for a reasonable price.  All food is made to order in a systematic assembly line designed by logisticians at the Rand Corporation.

I chose the classic lunch of a chili dog, fries and a drink.  Rather than the mundane small, medium and large drinks, the drink sizes are creatively named from Wimpy to Super Mongo.  Due to my massive stature and bulk, I of course went with the Super Mongo.  To achieve the dragon breath necessary to ensure a wide berth from other patrons, I smothered the dog with diced onions and yellow mustard.

The dog has the baseball style appearance by sticking out of the end of the bun.  Upon the first bite, there is the snap of the natural casing.  The snap releases the juices and savory flavors with hints of spices and very subtle smokiness.  The meat has a firm, but not overly dense, texture.  The thick, meaty chili, onions and yellow mustard give complementary flavors that would make Escoffier proud.

Just in case one stops before lunch at one of the many dispensaries that have popped up on Ventura Blvd. so that a single chili dog will not suffice, Carney’s also serves a wonderful chili burger.

As a young child, I used to fall asleep with a transistor radio under my pillow listening to Vin Scully call Dodger games on KFI.  I can still hear Vin’s melodious voice doing commercials for Farmer John and quoting their motto, “Easternmost in quality, Westernmost in flavor.”  Carney’s upholds that tradition.