Southeast Asia Part 1–Thailand

More than buddhas, ladyboys and Thai stick

“Braindoc, where have you been?” inquired one of my esteemed medical colleagues.  “You haven’t published any reviews recently which leaves me idle while I hold my morning audience on the porcelain throne.”  One of the members of Goldstein Party of Five, the greatest rock cover band in the universe, told me that he missed my blathering, pedantic and occasionally witty badinage.  Even as unbiased an enthusiast as my mother was threatening to pack it in after 93 years of life because she thought I had entered an uncommunicative depression.  I explained to my devotees that after he completed War and Peace, the great genius Tolstoy required eight long years before he released Anna Karenina, so what do they expect from someone who earned a well-deserved C+ in Mr. Barnes’ freshman Great Works of Western Literature course?

The true reason for my absence from the blogosphere is that I have been physically (and often mentally) on the road.  International bon vivant that I am, the lovely wife and I recently traveled extensively throughout Southeast Asia, a region we more politically incorrect boors call Indochina.  After a journey of 28 hours encompassing the motorized misery of the 405, the human sardine can of LAX and a long layover in the Tokyo airport (featuring the Toto Washlet C2 electronic toilet, the greatest invention in the history of humankind since the wheel), we finally arrived in Bangkok.

Upon arriving in Bangkok, one may venture to the many spectacular attractions such as the Royal Grand Palace with the Emerald Buddha, the Reclining Buddha or Wat Arun (The Temple of Dawn).  

Sacrificing for my loyal readers, however, it was my plan to forego these ancient treasures and make a bee line to the heart of the famed street food scene. 

I could prattle on about the excitement of Bangkok and the sheer volume, variety and insanity of the street food scene, but who wants to read more of my drivel rather than getting right to the gold.

I started with soup with rolled wide rice noodles and crispy pork.  The broth is made by simmering pork bones for hours. There is a touch of sweetness from scallions and backbone from garlic and cilantro.

Next up, an egg omelet with mussels and bean sprouts.  The egg and mussel mixture is beaten with a touch of rice flour and fried in a large, flat griddle with hot oil giving the omelet a faintly charred aroma complementing the sweet chewiness of the mussels and crunch of the sprouts.  It is served with a sweet Thai chili sauce.

Squid, anyone?

The mantis shrimp is not a true prawn.  It has a texture and flavor profile closer to the delicacy and sweetness of lobster.  The succulent tail is more refined than shrimp and a bit less stringy than lobster.  Water spinach, otherwise known as “morning glory” is an aquatic vegetable with a clean and slightly bitter taste which makes an excellent accompaniment to the sweet mantis shrimp.

Sandwich sliced from the whole pork, anyone?

Of course a sweet is mandatory after this ambulatory extravaganza so I couldn’t resist candied fruits that are served in rice paper to keep the stickiness away from the most punctilious of digits.

Pad Thai is one of Thailand’s most iconic dishes—sweet, tangy, savory and full of contrasting textures.  Typically, thin rice noodles are stir-fried with egg, garlic chive and tofu in a tamarind-based sauce and mixed with a protein or vegetable.  It is cooked rapidly over high heat to maintain the glossiness, slipperiness and chewiness of the noodles.  Bean sprouts and peanuts are added for crunchiness.  I ventured to a small side street to a renowned hidden gem, Baan Phadthai, where I lunched on the Phadthai Poo, a dish served with crab meat and a touch of crab juice intermingled in the sauce.

Fine dining is also readily available in Thailand.  A colorful drink befitting this colorful land is the Sapphire Martini, a gin martini with Blue Curaçao and a cherry. Blue Curaçao is a bright blue liqueur with a taste that comes from the dried peels of the Laraha orange, which grows on the island of Curaçao in the Caribbean.

The Thai take on the fritter is the deep fried corn patty served with sweet and sour sauce and dried chili.  These bite sized fritters are made from sweet corn kernels mixed with a light batter of rice flour, egg, cilantro and green onion.  The slight sweetness of the corn is balanced by a savory undertone.  The exterior is crunchy and golden, giving way to a soft, tender interior.  The sweet and sour dipping sauce and chili provide a zesty contrast to the sweet fried richness.

Steamed fish in parchment is a visually striking and aromatic dish. A fish fillet is coated in a fragrant, spiced mixture of red curry paste, coconut milk, fish sauce, lime juice and herbs then wrapped carefully in parchment paper and steamed. During cooking, the parchment forms a tight, steaming envelope, keeping the fish incredibly moist and tender while concentrating the aromatic flavors. When the parchment is opened, an intense, enticing fragrance of lemongrass, lime, chili, and coconut is released. The fish is soft and flaky, infused with the curry-spiced sauce, which is rich yet balanced and creamy from the coconut milk and slightly sweet and tangy from the lime with a hint of chili heat.

After completing the culinary extravaganza that is Bangkok, the next stop will be the interior jungles of Laos and Cambodia.  Next week (or possibly in the next month or two), same bat time, same bat channel.