Bistro Na’s

Can we all get along?

While valuably spending last Friday afternoon lounging on the couch with Nolan, my pet Yorkie, and a Bombay Sapphire and tonic watching reruns of The Rockford Files, my usually dormant cell phone rang.  Who do I know with a 202 area code?  Out of sheer curiosity, I answered the call only to find that it was from a high ranking member of the State Department.  This diplomat had read my review of Park’s Korean BBQ and for some reason, either mental defect or chemical, was impressed with my knowledge and insight into the mindset of the leader of The Hermit Kingdom, Little Rocket Man.  He wanted to inquire if my expertise extended into other portions of East Asia, particularly the Middle Kingdom of China, because of our recent difficulties with that rising power.  After a comprehensive interview and a sweeping FBI background check that showed that I had watched the Netflix scripted drama Marco Polo and had developed some prowess at table tennis during the Ping-Pong diplomacy of the 1970s, I was deputized.

Xi Jinping is known as a mysterious and cryptic leader.  It would be necessary for me to supplement the minimal discretion and tact that I have with superior knowledge to gain the upper hand with such a wily and forceful negotiator.  Intensive research would be required in order to attempt to improve our currently strained Sino-American relations.  Since the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach, my plan was to start a fact-finding tour of the home of the best Chinese cuisine in the L.A. Basin, the San Gabriel Valley.

“Give me a child until he is seven and I will show you the man,” Aristotle once said.  Unfortunately, my childhood experiences with Chinese food were limited to monthly sojourns to The Great Wall of Chow and Christmas dinners with the Greenblatts and the Steinbergs at Soon Fatt’s Imperial Dragon Buffet House.  These establishments specialized in bland Cantonese fare such as won ton soup, sweet and sour pork and chicken chow mein, the Chinese version of the type of food my Aunt Goldie would serve to her chavurah group.

Since they had accompanied us to Park’s, I again invited my friends whose code names are John and Mary to keep their identities anonymous in case we were being observed from above by a spy balloon.  They were the perfect couple to advise me in my new vocation since John had designed the U.S. vs. China war game simulation for the Rand Corporation and Mary was an international relations major at the top small liberal arts college in the country.  We placed our cell phones in military strength GoDark Faraday Bags to prevent location tracking and headed to Bistro Na’s in Temple City.  For you Westside snobs, Temple City is snugly triangulated between North El Monte, Rosemead and East San Gabriel. Bistro Na’s serves imperial court food from the Qing dynasty, royal Manchu cuisine.  Don’t be fooled by its non-descript appearance in a strip mall with numerous other restaurants, it is a Michelin Star restaurant.  The gorgeous interior features opulent bamboo trim and high-hanging soft lights.  The walls are lined with traditional Chinese musical instruments.  The overall ambiance is cozy, elegant and soothing.

The menu is so extensive that I felt that I was lost in an Aztec death maze.  Fortunately, the attentive, knowledgeable and hospitable staff recommended that we order two dishes per person and offered counsel and guidance with the selections.  I am often skeptical of staff recommendations because they typically are for the stale leftovers from the prior week’s wedding rehearsal dinner but both the number and choices were on target. 

We started with two salads, the Organic Asparagus Sprouts Salad and the Chili Tofu Skin Salad.  The crunchy asparagus sprouts had a delicate, grassy flavor.  A lemon vinaigrette dressing complemented the subtle flavor of the asparagus without overpowering it.  The Chili Tofu Skin Salad was a unique dish featuring tofu skin that was soaked in a spicy chili sauce for a delightful combination of savory and heat.  The tofu skin, simultaneously soft, chewy and crispy, was mixed with a variety of greens.

For the last appetizer, our chamberlain of a waiter suggested the Old Beijing Smoked Duck Breast.  Thinly sliced duck breast was marinated in a combination of spices then slowly smoked.  The result was a rich, aromatic dish both tender and juicy, smoky and slightly salty, without the greasiness that often plagues duck. 

Moving on to the main courses, the house specialty is the Crispy Shrimp.  This dish brings to mind the George Carlin routine about the irony of the phrase “jumbo shrimp.”  Massive, plump prawns are enveloped in a golden-brown crisp breading.  The initial crunch gives way to a firm but tender interior with a light touch of sweetness to the palate.

The Shredded Pork with Sweet Bean Sauce was truly outstanding.  Every culture has the blintz style dish; this is the Manchu version.  Tender shredded pork is marinated with soy sauce and Shaoxing wine and stir-fried with minced garlic and ginger.  Sweet bean sauce is added to the wok for the final touch.  The tangy sauce complements the sweet and savory flavors.  The pork is served with shaved scallions and crispy noodles; all of the ingredients are wrapped by the diner in a thin, light Mandarin pancake.

The only disappointment of the evening was the Na’s Angus Prime Rib.  Although beautifully presented with the bone accompanied by ginger and mild black pepper sauces, the meat was a bit fatty for my taste.

Despite my protestation, all food groups needed representation so vegetables were ordered.  Normally I do not ingest fungi due to a prior fatal allergic reaction but I made an exception for the Stir Fried Baby Bok Choy with Morel Mushrooms.  The baby bok choi has crisp stems and tender green leaves.  Its mild, subtle sweetness is balanced by the earthiness of the umami-rich mushrooms.

The last dish of the evening was Na’s Secret Tofu.  Soybean curds are pressed into rectangular prisms (thank you, Euclid) and fried with a wafer-thin breading to produce a crisp exterior and a soft, tender interior.  Tofu itself does not have much flavor, but the frying allows it to absorb flavors from the seasoned oil.

By the time we devoured the above and thoroughly analyzed and deliberated the diplomatic affairs between the world’s two superpowers, the house specialty dessert, Na’s Assorted Eight, was sold out.  Here is a photograph of the selection which includes Red Date Crisp, Sweet Pea Pastry, Red Bean Cake, Crispy Rice Treats and Sesame Roll.  I would recommend ordering it at the beginning of the meal as the pastries are made fresh daily and the dish is evidently in great demand.

Neither Kierkegaard nor Kant, neither Socrates nor Plato could encapsulate human relations in as pithy a phrase as the great American philosopher who asked “Can we all get along?”  Many an agreement in human history has been made over breaking bread.  Xi, I beseech you, I plead with you to jet into Temple City International Airport and dine with me at Bistro Na’s; peace will reign o’er the earth.