BLVD Steak

The Waste Land

I had intended to start this review of BLVD Steak, a new swanky restaurant in the San Fernando Valley, in my typical pseudointellectual fashion with a reference to T.S. Eliot’s The Waste Land:  “April is the cruellest month”…blah, blah, blah.  To be honest, I never really understood poetry.  At every lecture that I attended about poetry in my college freshman English literature survey course, the professor was merely dribbling drops of water into the ocean of my ignorance.  Instead, a different metaphorical train will leave the station of prosaic, overwritten gibberish for which Braindoc is renowned.

Before the genius of William Mulholland brought water rushing from the Owens Valley down the cascades above Sylmar and thence into the Van Norman Reservoir in Granada Hills, the Valley was a desert wasteland alternately dry as the dark side of the moon or flooded from the seasonal Los Angeles River.

Although flora and prosperity blossomed, the Valley remained a cultural and epicurean wilderness, particularly devoid of the haute cuisine so commonly found “over the hill.”  There are many outstanding dive restaurants in the Valley such as Doctor Hogly Wogly Barbecue in Panorama City and Tel Aviv Glatt Kosher Grill in Encino, as well as the most exceptional Sushi options in the L.A. Basin strung along Ventura Blvd. from Studio City to Woodland Hills.  But offer a fine dining or artisanal option such as Brandywine or Flame Pizzeria (for which you can read the obituary in this blog) and you will be in Chapter 13 faster than Joey Chestnut can down 80 hot dogs.

So I was ecstatic when the drummer from the most celebrated rock cover band in the universe, Goldstein Party of Five, informed me that a friend of his had opened BLVD Steak in Studio City to rival Wolfgang Puck’s Cut and Mastro’s.   The wife and the eldest of the whelps, knowing that my birthday was just around the far turn (as I am heading into the home stretch of my years), considerately reserved a table.

To prepare for the momentous evening I donned a Vince shirt, a pair of Rag & Bone jeans and a Zegna leather jacket.  We headed east down the El Camino Real, past the entrance to the 405 that leads to the culinary mecca of the Westside, and on to BLVD Steak.  After being escorted in by a velvet rope, Studio 54 type doorman we were greeted by two beautiful hostesses.  Unfortunately I was not recognized as the bon vivant celebrity that I am so the hostesses took us to a ‘B’ table adjacent to the busboy’s dish pit.  With a bit of good cop/bad cop banter, the lovely wife and I coerced a move to an ‘A’ table.  Once we were settled in we took in the décor and clientele, which resembled a top flight Beverly Hills steakhouse.

Our waiter was a gem, reviewing the extensive menu with us in detail.  He was very knowledgeable regarding cuts and preparation of steaks, so he and I engaged in a steak-nerd exchange.  I explained that I am very particular about the temperature of a steak with the ideal being rare with a warm center.  He advised me that the rare at BLVD Steak has a cold center; he described my preference as their medium rare.  Since I have never ordered a medium rare steak since I last ate at Sizzler just before my Bar Mitzvah, we compromised on rare plus.  The ladies in my party, who, unlike myself, actually care about the amount of cholesterol and calories that go into their body, ordered a selection of salads and vegetables which I will ignore as irrelevant to this review.

I started with a very creative iceberg wedge salad with candied bacon, cherry tomatoes and a touch of scallions smothered with blue cheese crumbles and dressing accompanied by unique blue cheese crackers.  The salad was generously portioned with a satisfying combination of crispness and creaminess from the fresh iceberg lettuce and rich, tangy blue cheese dressing.  The taste and texture were enhanced by the accoutrement ingredients.

For my main course, I created a surf and turf combo of a jumbo shrimp cocktail and a six ounce ribeye cap steak.  The beautifully presented shrimp were firm, sweet and succulent and maintained at the proper temperature by a bed of dry ice.  They were served with mustard aioli and classic cocktail dipping sauces which added to a well-balanced flavor profile with a hint of spiciness.  At the price point of this establishment, however, I would have expected a larger portion size than three shrimps.

The ribeye cap steak is arguably the tastiest and most tender of cuts.  It consists of the spinalis dorsi muscle, the end of a ribeye that sits closest to the spine.  It is the softest portion of the ribeye because this part of the rib area is not used for much movement.  It has excellent marbling without excess fat or gristle.  It is rarely seen on restaurant menus because it can take two or three ribeye steaks to produce one ribeye cap.

After the pre-order discussion I had with the waiter regarding the proper preparation to my taste, and with my choice of an exotic cut, I was shivering with anticipation as only Dr. Frank-N-Furter could appreciate.

To my dismay, the steak was cooked all the way through, Sizzler-like, to at least medium, if not medium-well.  The waiter acknowledged this error of the chef, and quickly brought me a properly grilled replacement.  The ribeye cap combines the flavor and juiciness of a ribeye with the tenderness of a filet mignon and this steak certainly did not disappoint.

To ensure adequate triglycerides and LDLs in my meal, I ordered a side of waffle fries.  They were cooked to a perfect golden brown and served with homemade ketchup and aioli.  The fries had an excellent balance of crunchy exterior and soft interior and paired well with the ribeye cap.

As it was indeed my birthday, I was presented gratis with a butter cake with strawberry compote and vanilla ice cream with a sparkling Roman candle.  The simple butter cake, composed of butter, flour, eggs and sugar, was rich and moist.  The strawberries added zest to the simple flavor of the cake.

So what is the verdict you may ask?  Has BLVD Steak matched the skill and ingenuity of Mulholland in irrigating the gastronomically parched Valley?  Did it equal the experiences that yours truly had at Lucky’s and Dear John’s?  If one is going to compete with the big boys at the top end, a Shohei Ohtani or a Steph Curry, one must bring one’s A+ game.  Close, but no cigar.